On the first expedition trip as a family, I’ve learned a few things.  All of these things have happened to us, honest!  (You will notice this site is called Shared Expeditions, not Shared Vacations.)

1.  No matter what rental car you select, you’ve chosen the wrong one for the trip.  Someone will always tell you that you should have rented the other type of car that you didn’t choose.

2.  Although my Loving Wife offers to help navigate and read the GPS, she will inevitably disagree with my driving and we will end up lost (twice!).

3.  A crying toddler is usually hungry, tired, or both.  Most likely both.  The intensity of the cry will increase proportionally with your frustration level.

4.  Playing the “license plate game” doesn’t really pass nearly enough time.

5. 5. A hotel room can go from clean to messy in under 10 seconds with a family of five.
   

6.  A child will invariably tell you they have to use the bathroom only after you’ve passed the last rest stop for 80 miles.

7.  The attentiveness of a waiter in a restaurant increases the fewer children you have to occupy at the table.  Likewise, the speed of the cook increases if you are childless and not in a hurry.  If you have a child tearing up the table, the food will take eons to prepare.

8.  The clothes you want to wear are always at the bottom of the suitcase, requiring you to remove everything to find them.

9.  Your non-removable GPS battery will die at the farthest possible point from your hotel, just when you decide it is time to head back.

10.  The hotel you chose to stay at will be under construction, and the construction workers are eager to begin their jobs.  This means the Bobcat will start right outside your window at 6:45 a.m., and the construction workers will decide that is the best time to start hammering.

11.  It is not wise to have the TSA ask you to remove the shoes of a two-year-old in the airport to go through the metal detectors.  There is no way in the world you are going to get the shoes back on your two-year old without a major fight.

12.  No matter what types of restaurants you choose, if they offer pizza on the menu, your child will order pizza for dinner.  Our made it through three consecutive nights of pizza before we finally caught on.